Don’t be blind to bullying
By: Maria Jones, PhD
Bullying has always been around, but has become incessant with the rise of social media. Bullying can involve rumors, name calling, purposeful exclusion, aggression, threats of harm, property destruction, and cyberbullying. Youth who have experienced bullying and those who bully others may have lasting difficulties, but parents and others can help.
Knowing the signs of bullying is an integral step. A child who is bullied may experience: frequent headaches or stomach aches; changes in eating habits; difficulty sleeping; declining grades and social activities; decreased self-esteem; unexplained injuries; and/or self-destructive behaviors. Children who bully others may: be aggressive; have friends who bully others; have unexplained money or new belongings; blame others; not accept responsibility for their actions; and have concerns about their reputation. Most children feel ashamed or responsible for being bullied. However, some youth may not be aware that they are being bullied or are bullying others.
If you suspect bullying, staying calm and respectful while communicating with your child is necessary. Adults can model how to respond in difficult situations. By lecturing or being upset, children may also become upset, shut down, and be resistant to further support. Instead, validate their feelings, letting them know you notice them. Listen to what they have to say.
Next, support your child in making safe choices. Underscore that they have the right to feel safe at school, the responsibility to act safely towards others, and that you and their school have a responsibility to keep them safe. Take steps to understand the situation and advocate for them by: teaching how to respond to bullying; seeking professional mental health help; reviewing school policies; and involving other authority figures (e.g., teachers, principal).
Persistently communicate, listen, and advocate for your child. This will help them feel empowered to advocate for themselves as well.